A London Bobby asks two drunks for their names and addresses. The first answers, “I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address.” And the second replies, “I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy.”

“What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? One drink.”

“Paddy, he said you weren't fit to associate with pigs, but I stuck up for you. I said you most certainly were.”

Bobby; "Where were you born?" Paddy; "Dublin". Bobby; "What part?" Paddy; "All of me."

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